How I Started With Music

My story with music is very complicated. Not at the beginning, but as time passed, it became a rough journey. It still is, but when you love what you do, it does not feel like a burden, even in hard times.

I started with the cello and music theory at the same time when I was 10 years old. I remember I did not like the cello, but I "had no choice", because I was "too little to play contrabass" and the piano list was full, so I could not start with piano. It was cello, viola, violin or any wind instrument. Of course I picked the cello, because every other instrument was either too high pitched for my taste or "had an ugly sound" and I did not see myself blowing into a wind instrument. I got a borrowed cello from the school and was very unhappy with my choice, but I decided to stick with it, because it was something new so I thought: "heck it's better than nothing." I started practicing my instrument and kept getting better at the beginner level, but I was still unsatisfied with my choice of instrument until one day I logged into a computer we had in the house, with internet and YouTube when it was starting. I saw a video of 13 year old Han-Na Chang, playing the third movement of Haydn's cello concerto in C Major, at the Kennedy Center's 25th anniversary celebration and thought: "I can do that with the cello!? No way!" After that my view of the cello completely changed, so I decided to take my practices more seriously. Every day I would grab the cello and practice the beginner book until I finished it. After six months more or less I got to intermediate level, which was challenging, but I still had the goal of playing that concerto. I got good,but not as good as I would have if I had a cello teacher. My first teacher was a viola player and he was teaching all string instruments. The music school did not have enough funds to have more personnel, so there were few teacher as well and most of them gave classes of different instruments. Over a period of four years I had about 5 cello teachers. Many of them were strict and before leaving they would offer me to continue my classes free of charge, but I had to travel far to do that and my parents would not be able to afford gas or to add additional days outside of the house to their tight schedule, so that was a "no no". The last cello teacher I had was the most strict one during that period of time. I remember every class were mostly 2 octave scales and studies, slow tempo, play 8 notes with each bow, play arpeggios with 6 notes in each bow and no cello concerto: "You are not ready" he kept telling me and I was so pissed off with each class, I felt like I was not improving. In every reunion he would only say to my parents: "I have nothing to say about him. He's a great student. I have nothing bad to say about him." I was so upset I did not wanted to continue playing cello, until one day in class he pulled out of his bagpack two cello concertos. They were both by Georg Goltermann; his fourth and fifth technical cello concertos. My teacher told me: "Alright, I'm gonna give you a choice between these two cello concertos; there's not much of a difference since it's the same composer, but I'll give you the illusion of choice." As he said that, he started to laugh and then played a bit of each concerto. I decided to play G. Goltermann's fourth cello concerto in D minor thinking that it was easier than the other, which is true, but I did not know that at the time. So I was happy to finally have a cello concerto; something I had not heard of before. I got home that day and went straight to my room to practice the concerto and it went so bad I got frustrated again. Every time I went to class I was not on tempo, not in tune or both at the same time; we also had to spend class playing the concerto very slowly. I was practicing so hard I stopped eating and my parents would have to tell me to stop practicing, because I spent many hours alone in my room without having time with them. Of course I was trying to play it like how he did, so I did not take time to practice slow. I wanted to get it over with so I could start playing Haydn's concerto. I spent two more months practicing Goltermann's piece and one day my teacher came to class and told me: "This is going to be the last class I'll be giving to you. I'm leaving the school." I was surprised of the news he gave me and then he said: "You're the best student I've had in my career as teacher, you're very skilled at playing and have a lot of potencial to become a great cellist. I would like to continue mentoring you at my house. Don't worry I won't charge you anything for that." It was a déjà vu for me. I could not believe what was happening. I was about to be teacherless once again. He lived very far from home and was not getting paid enough for his travels to work. After I went home that day I felt relieved, because I was not going to go through more of that torture, but I also felt sad for what he told me. Of course I did not understand how bad these news were until a few months later . I went back to the viola teacher in that same school and he gave me the beloved Haydn cello concerto. I was struggling so much with it I felt like I had no talent at all. The viola teacher decided to get me to the Conservatory of Music of Puerto Rico to meet the cello teacher there. He asked me to play Haydn for the teacher I so I did. The teacher said: "I see good things there, but there is much to work. Haydn is something that's not recommended for students your level, for many reasons." He explained those reasons of course and he also said: "There have been many who have auditioned to enter the Conservatory with this concerto and failed. You would have to practice very diligently, keeping in mind these tips I just gave you if you want to pass the audition here." He was not rude, but very realistic. I thought my chances were becoming lower each day I practiced and after that meeting I thought I was finished. after four more years, when I was 18 years old I got discouraged from auditioning to the Conservatory. I had the same repertoire for four years, I kept practicing Goltermann's cello concerto, some Bach and a few scales. I also kept practicing Haydn's cello concerto, but I felt it was getting worse. So I thought: "Well I guess this is it, It was a good experience, but it looks like I'm not made for music after all. Besides, the Conservatory is far away, I have no car, a security job that's mostly night shifts and a lot of overtime. I don't have the time or means to get there." Taking those things in consideration I decided to leave music behind. I played my last concert at the school. Every student had to play a solo piece before leaving the program and the piece I played that night was "Song of the Birds" by Pablo Cassals. After the event was over I left the borrowed cello inside the classroom of the viola teacher without him noticing and left without saying goodbye to anyone.

After I got out of highschool that same year I decided to go study Biology, to then go study Medicine. I studied for one and a half years in a university close from home, until I lost a honor student scholarship for not attending to some advertising events the university held outside the campus. And then I tried to transfer to other universities, but some were farther from home and another would have me start over the Bachelor's degree, because of some differences in the name of the classes. So I thought: "If I'm gonna start over with studies, I should do something unrelated. I don't want to go through the same subjects for another year." At that time it was hard to get to San Juan, but not as hard as before. I still didn't have a car, but I had a license and my parents would lend me the car as long as I took good care of it. So I decided to go back to my childhoods music school to find the viola teacher. I found him in his classroom and told him right after opening the door: "I'm gonna audition to the Conservatory of Music of Puerto Rico, I need a cello. Do you have one I can borrow?." He asked if I was sure and I replied with a "yes". He gave me a cello he had bought some time before I left the school. I took it, gave him thanks and went home to practice once again. I was in really bad shape, but I still had the concertos and the book excercises from past classes. I was glad I never threw that away. I did not own any book, only some copies of excercises given to me in classes I took. I started practicing slowly two octave scales, arpeggios. I practiced Goltermann's cello concerto and Haydn's too, but was undecided which one I should've take to the audition. The viola teacher insisted I'd take Haydn's cello concerto, so naturally I practiced that one more than the other. Two days before the audition I sat down with my parents to ask them which concerto I should take to the audition. My father told me: "Who cares which one? As long as you're in, it doesn't matter." My mother noted: "You should take the easiest one." My father replied: "That makes sense, you want to pass the audition. You're not there to impress anyone. You're just there to meet certain standards and that's it. Go with the easiest one." I took my parents advice and practice Goltermann's cello concerto instead of Haydn's. The day of the audition I presented my scale and arpeggio, a study excercise and Goltermann's fourth cello concerto. If I did not do well in the audition I would still be given a chance to enter, but in a preparatory year, before entering to the full Bachelor's degree. I could not afford that so it was better to go with the repertoire I could perform better. With that I enetered the first year of my Bachelor's degree in Performance.

I will continue my story of my studies in another blog. I hope you enjoyed reading my first experience with music. In the meantime, check out my YouTube videos below. Thank you for taking the time to read. Feel free to share your experiences with music or any other passion you have.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGGpBRFPF48